Random Musings

Thanks For the Advice, Friendly Internet Stranger

As you can see, this is a new blog. We need writers (if you’re interested, HMU), so naturally Kat and I decided to post in various places looking for content writers. I wasn’t sure if anyone would respond, especially since it had been 20 minutes since the first Craigslist post went up and we had received ZERO replies. I was ready to throw in the towel on this whole thing. We were overly ambitious and it bit us in the ass. We’re fucked.

As I sat there wallowing in the fact that it had been 45 minutes and we didn’t have writers begging to be published on NBY, my phone vibrated. I picked it up, thinking it was my sister and another photo of her new puppy. But HOLY SHIT IT WASN’T. It was a reply to our Craigslist post! Maybe our dream wasn’t completely out of reach after all!

I quickly opened the email, holding my breath in anticipation of the glorious writing samples I was about to lovingly judge, and I saw this:

Um.

Um.

I laughed out loud when I read our first content writer application. I wondered about the person who sent this. It was probably male,  because a female would have written something a bit more substantial like, “suck a dick u whorish cunt”. What was the main motivation behind sending this superb example of eloquence? Was SS encouraging us? Was he saying, “Go suck a dick! You deserve it for all the hard work you’re putting into following your dreams!” But if this was the case, why didn’t he send a picture of his own dick? Unless he wasn’t interested in a random act of fellatio?

Maybe this wasn’t meant for us. Maybe he went through the process of entering his name, email, and message into the Craigslist web form, then failed to realize he was browsing the Writing Gigs section, and not the Dick Sucking section. It wouldn’t surprise me though, because 90% of Craigslist is related to dicks and the various things you can do with them. He might have gotten lost.

Or maybe he realizes what we’re trying to do. Maybe he’s part of the right-wing patriarchy, a crusader in the fight against freedom of speech and all that is Progressive and Liberal. He was sent out into the world on a mission: to undermine and eliminate any form of subversion and truth-telling that could be detrimental to the New World Order. All other methods had failed him; reason was winning and his Conservative overlords were closing in on him, rabid with anger. In a desperate attempt to save the world from intelligence and peace, he pulls out the kill-switch. The overlords bust through his door, pitchforks at the ready. With one last breath, he hits send.

I DIE FOR YOU, THE IGNORANT AND THE FEARFUL!

I DIE FOR YOU, THE IGNORANT AND THE FEARFUL!

In any event, SS, thanks for the email!

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One thought on “Thanks For the Advice, Friendly Internet Stranger

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