Feminism / Quickies / Rants

Be the Bitch You Wanna Be     

I’ll admit it.  I’m kind of a bitch.

Or rather, I’m likely more of a full-fledged bitch, like a fully formed, totally realized kind of bitchy, bitch like bitch.

I’m the kind of bitch who doesn’t smile at you when you stare me down on the street.  I’m the kind of bitch who has a lot of opinions about a lot of things that you might not agree with.  I’m the kind of bitch who you probably roll your eyes at when I get on one of my “little rants” again.

But most importantly, I’m the kind of bitch who’s gonna call you out in front of everyone over that sexist joke.  I’m the kind of bitch who’s gonna challenge you in polite company over your casual racist comment.  I’m the kind of bitch who is, frankly, tired of being told that I’m “asking for it” when things get a little heated afterwards.

Me: “Can you believe what he said?”

Other person:  “Well, you were asking for it when you responded to him.”

How many times has this kind of bitch right here been told that I shouldn’t respond to some ridiculously sexist remark because “he’s only doing it to get a rise out of you”?  And when I do respond in any manner whatsoever be it nice, or harsh, or polite, or challenging, any fall out afterwards is on me.  Because, after all, I was asking for it.

“What do you expect?”  They say.  “You’re too easy to rile up.”

The only assumptions challenged are the ones that apply to me.  It’s more wrong to call out the comment than to make the comment.  Everyone laughs when a guy tells a woman to go fix him a sandwich, but those same people clutch their pearls when she throws it back in his face.

How rude she is!  Gasp!

The status quo – that of sexism, racism, transphobia, whatever it may be, is more acceptable than the feathers ruffled at the dinner party when you have the balls to speak out against it.

I was asking to be the bad guy when I had the fucking gaucheness to challenge a misogynistic slight, or a pointedly rude remark belying a complete lack of privilege awareness.

Like, God, what a bitch.  Does she ever shut up about this shit?  Can’t she just let us be racist for a minute?  We’re doing it behind closed doors surrounded with people who are just like us so can’t we just all be cool about it?  Like bitch, shut up, you’re ruining all the fun.

But what can I say?  That’s just the kind of bitch I am.  And you should always be the kind of bitch you wanna be.


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