Honestly, at this point, I’m stress-writing. The only things I’ve written in the past year are 10,000 cover letters and it’s like I don’t even remember what words are. I haven’t even read a whole grown-up book (I read like 5 YA novels though including one about the moon being knocked out of whack which started as a promising dystopian series but ended up being a sad example of emotional abuse in teen relationships but more on that eventually.)
Why did I stop writing? I could say that life got in the way, and that’s somewhat true. I switched jobs twice, planned and executed a wedding, played video games, slept a lot… but that’s all bullshit. I stopped writing because I don’t like to write. I’d rather do anything else. The act of writing is mentally draining and degrading and fuck you I hate it.
And of course, by some sick twist of fate I am blessed with the NEED to write. I spent a year not writing and every fucking day I’d dwell on the fact that I wasn’t writing. I wished that somehow my ideas and words would just morph into something great and I’d get to take credit for it. I’ll admit that sometimes it does come that easily, but for the past year even when I’d be struck with inspiration, I’d find something else to do instead.
I envy people that can actually pursue their passions. Artists who have the need to create art can sit down and do art because it’s in their soul. I have the passion for writing but I cannot sit down and do writing without having a breakdown on why I can’t write.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that we’re back. I’m going to go against my stupid brain and write. I’m gonna write Every. Fucking. Day. Some of it will be good, some of it will be terrible, but you really do reach a point where you can’t care anymore, you just have to do it.
And to really bring this to a global level, too much has happened in the past year for anyone to sit down and stay quiet, laziness be damned. Now more than ever we need to stick together, get loud, and survive. Just because we’re on the brink of destruction and need to save the world doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun while we do it. Sure we took a detour but we’re back, and we’re not gonna stop.